3 steps to becoming a functioning all-day pot smoker


Although I detest the style of today’s advice columns and list-style pieces that prey on your boredom and browsing habits, they do hold weight at times. So it only seemed natural to educate new and experienced stoners with three rules on how to function as an all-day cannabis user.

This list will be short; I know you stoners are forgetful.

1. Never smoke before work, unless you can smoke before work:

This is the most critical rule. It’s important to understand your work environment, the responsibilities of your job, and the repercussions of your mistakes. That means paying close attention to your level of tolerance and how cannabis impacts your responsibilities throughout the day.

For new smokers, toking up before work is a definite no, no. For all-stars, this is something you should have already mastered or decided against. For hall-of-famers, as Weezy says, “you already know.”

2. Routines, it’s all about routines:

This is a lesson I learned while in college. You cannot be a cannabis user, let alone an all-day smoker, unless you have a routine that you consistently follow. Routines are important to maintain a high-quality of life and are a proven way to increase production and achieve success. This is even truer for a cannabis user. We all know it, and if you disagree, you’re in denial.

The stereotype that marijuana makes you forgetful has merit. To stay mindful of your daily responsibilities, it’s important to have a consistently structured schedule.

When that routine turns into robotically programmed movements and actions, only then should you begin to integrate your cannabis usage with your daily routine. A friend of mine who works from home as a writer has a great routine: 8:00 a.m. wakeup, morning bathroom necessities, a couple one-hitters of hybrid or sativa cannabis, work out, eat breakfast, office necessities (emails, phone calls, organize schedule), 30-minute break; long work block until 4:30 p.m., followed by a one- to two-hour break with a cannabis smoke session (still hybrid or sativa), late lunch; then works for a few more hours until his work load is done or until he feels satisfied, at which point he ends the day with an indica-loaded spliff.

3. Be Responsible:

This rule needs to be hammered into the brains of those who partake in the cannabis culture. That old saying – if you’re gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough – is not true in this situation. If you’re going to be dumb, it’s reflects poorly on the rest of us who are trying to change the negativity surrounding cannabis and its users.

You should not be an all-day smoker if you don’t have your life together. If you are unemployed, a deadbeat parent, a slacker, an addict or a criminal, it’s best to focus on improving your life, not lighting up fatties.

Be careful and don’t smoke at lunch breaks in the parking lot, don’t smoke near children, don’t smoke and drive, and finally, know your limits.

This list is based off of the experiences and hard-learned lessons of many in the cannabis community. Follow these easy steps and you’ll be on your way to becoming a functioning all-day smoker.

P.S. Keep lists, lots and lots of lists.

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